Fighting My Dragons

My heart is heavy, my mind is clouded, and the passion inside of me is burning me alive. I have so many dragons I'm fighting. Bad self image, selfishness, ( oh the irony) lack of motivation, doubt, and trust to name a few.  I have caused so much injustice in the world just because of my own undisciplined decisions. It seems to be the main way I learn, the hard way. I am thankful that I have been able to learn from my mistakes. People who know me think I'm a perfect sweet girl with everyone else's best interest at heart. HAHA. Your wrong, I started out excited about Jesus but then started dishonoring Him with my decisions and lifestyle. So next time you think man she is so perfect, ask about my story. I will for sure disappoint you. People like to romanticize me, make my life and actions sound beautiful and my mistakes understandable. My life reflects my heart, it is full of filth and sin. With all of that said, dragons aren't pretty and killing them is a messy business. However, the joy you get from destroying them makes life a worth while adventure. The only way I have seen my filthy heart for what it is, has been God's law. The only way I have been strong enough to defeat any dragon that tries to rule my heart is Christ and His strength. If you are an agnostic reading this even you can agree that your selfishness has caused someone else pain and loss. So you know what I mean when I talk about dragons inside of us.
To put it simply, dragons are all the thoughts and actions that hurt others and ultimately ourselves because the root of them was our own selfishness. The most effective ways I have found to fight my dragons is reading God's word and living by it, that is how Christ lived. The more I learn about Christ, the more I fall in love with Him. He loved like no other, there is no other example in history who loved so beautifully. The way of life that is about true love may be narrow and full of constant self- evaluation but it loves others well and teaches how to have a life that is worthwhile without the ongoing mind games, the status quo, success,  and all of the pursuits that leave you screwed over and ready to give up. Christ portrayed a life where he didn't have a house, stuff, cars, a mate, and that was filled with turmoil, yet He stayed a man of His word and loved unconditionally. If there is an example I want to follow its that one. Because I haven't found any peace here, so if I have hope I can live without peace. If I have hope I can do something about injustice because that means there is a chance that lives can be restored, and those lives can restore others. That to me is the most meaningful thing in life. Fighting dragons together is wonderful meaningful adventure we can devote our lives to. To heck with fame, fortune, and false success.